Lunch

I had another Swiss Cheese & Salad croissant for lunch today on the beach. I love them. I weigh 122 pounds. I don't eat much here its easy to loose a few pounds. I think the best diet for me is to have one thing for lunch or dinner that I really like and just soup and fruit for the other meals. I doubt my life would be in the state it is if I were any good at denying myself but I can 'balance the books' by eating, coffee for breakfast, salad for lunch and German Chocolate Cake for dinner. It my version of the South Beach diet.

Have Your Cake & Eat It

Today I held a food amnesty and I ate what I liked. I am holding an amnesty every Saturday but sticking to fruit and salad at other times. This afternoon I had German Chocolate Cake and Pizza, it was nice. Other selected amnesty indulgences will include, cheese fries, peanut butter milk shake and actually thats about it really. Mostly I like eating really healthy food all the time anyway.

Remember When You Were Young?

Pink Floyd reminds me of my misspent youth life (not something I want to bring up at passport control) but it takes me back to lying on my friend’s floor having been awake for 48 hours straight. We used to play The Dark Side Of The Moon, The yellow Leonard Cohen greatest hits album, Led Zeppelin, Stairway To Heaven & Sunday Morning by The Velvet Underground. I attribute the gentle melancholia and closet optimism of our Sunday dawn playlist to the overall survival of my mental health, what I mean without it things could have been so much worse. 

Realism

I went deep into the ocean with Ryan on Independence Day. Not deep but pretty far out from the shore. Its very beautiful as the waves are higher than your head as they approach. Its all very blue. I said that I was a little nervous about being the nearest body to the sharks. He gallantly stood a metre ahead of me.
'Now they will get me instead'
I asked if he would mind making a small incision in his leg to be on the safe side.
He told me that sharks are more likely to be in the bay which is just a mile up the coast by South Point because there is more food there. He said that they feed at dawn and at dusk. I asked if he would stand where we were standing at dawn.
'Absolutley not, NO'

A conflict of interest

Here is the cute life guards hut situated near to South Point. The Green flag means 'calm conditions', the purple means 'dangerous marine life'. Confusing non? Perhaps it suggests the following.

• You can calmly walk into the ocean and face certain death
• The dangerous marine life are feeling pretty chilled today so maybe they won't eat you
• Take a valium before entering the water
• It's really a matter of perspective
• Relax if your number is up its up

Cellular Memory

Walking on the beach yesterday I got what Richard would call a 'base tan' in other words I got a little burnt. I like to feel a little heat in my skin after I get home. Its like when you have sex and it kind of hurts the next day (with any luck) it feels good.

I am in a no fly zone

Richard is not coming tonight. No flights due to bad weather. About 4pm this afternoon dark clouds rolled in accross the beach. I walked all the way to South Point to avoid them but I got caught in the rain anyway. It's not like London, it comes down hard but its warm. I don't know what is so bad about the weather that planes can't take off but it is hurricane season in this part of the world. I walked out on to the balcony and it looks alright to me but maybe the experts at American Airlines know something I don't.

Buy cheap buy twice

I started my sunbathing using Clarins which is expensive here, $34 but I am wreckless not stupid (or I was) and I knew I needed to invest in my skin. Anyway a few days ago I ran out so I bought some Banana Boat rubbish in the supermarket for $6.99 thinking my skin was stronger so it wouldn't matter. Wrong. I am totally alergic to cheap stuff, now I am covered in hideous heat rash. It might be gods way of telling me I need to quit while I am ahead. Obviously I have no intention of doing any such thing but I will go to the beach later today as a concession.

Just like honey

I was admiring my tan whilst having pee I am pleased with the honey colour that is developing on my legs. My skin was paler than the pants (Calvin Klien) when I started so I am making real progress. Saying that I am having a day out of the sun as I really would like some of my golden skin to accompany me home.

Its about to go badly wrong

Ate 3
Ate 6

Sea Weed

I ran a brush through my hair this morning just to see if I still could. I am hanging in South Beach with straggly sea hair. I didn't even bring a hair dryer since the voltage does not translate well. 2500 Pro Dryer blows like babies breath once you plug it in over here. I have a hair appointment for the morning of my flight home, London requires smooth shiney hair.

My face is my fortune

Or at least holding it all together cost one! I seem to be having a 'contra indication' to all the sunshine. The skin on my face is totally fucked. I am slathered in a product called Rescue Mask which better do exactly what it says on the tube. I don't want to undo 6 years of dermatology in 3 wreckless weeks. Although that is exactly the MO that I normally work with. Years to build minutes to destroy - its the AA way.  It occurs to me as I lie out on the beach  toasting in 80 degree heat that I am not sure if 'filler' melts. Might do a bit of googling and stay out of the rays today.

The Beach

So I walk down 16th Street to the junction of Collins Avenue and access the sands using the public footpath to the right of the Loews Hotel. It has a distinctive little art deco tower on the top so it makes a good reference point when I wander off piste along the shore.

The beach was pretty quiet today so I found a remote spot got undressed and lay on my towel. I have been sunbathing without a top as I dont want to have tan lines. I am really not an exhibitionist at all, infact I kind of don't like my body or indeed anyone elses for that matter. When I say I don't like my body I mean I really appreciate how strong and healthy I am, how much energy I have and how lucky I am that it has held up in the face of the abuse I used to put it through. I just mean that I am not like some total no inhibitions kid, not at all.  I am painfully aware of every blemish, stretch mark and bit of cellulite and have always wished I had some kind of perfect dolls body made from plastic rather than flesh.

Oh and by the way

There are sometimes Sharks here. I asked about them at New Year and the person just laughed and said they don't really come close to the shore during the day. I noticed today that they have a special flag system to highlight potential dangers including Blue for Dangerous Marine Life - specifically SHARKS it doesn't actually say that but what else could it mean? 

Here comes the sun

Most of Miami is made up of man made islands and pennisulas and South Beach has the most remarkable man made beach running along the Atlantic coast. The shale was concreted over and soft white sand shipped in from The Carribean just 90 miles away. The sky is blue and the sea is blue as you look into the distance you can see the point at which the heavens reach down to touch the earth. Sun bathing has of course had a very bad press and I can understand why some people chose to stay out of direct sunlight.

I don't smoke, eat meat, drink or take drugs. My high risk behavior has been reduced to the following controversial practices

1.A dislike of condoms
2.A love of eating cake
3.Laying out in the sun