Hope Springs Eternal

Oh I found a Pink Floyd Album on the music section of the not very entertaining ‘entertainment’ thing. Love Syd Barrett, the plane is bobbing up and down like Dastardly & Mutley’s bi-plane in the Stop That Pigeon cartoon. If being scared would help I would panic instead I am rolling my eyes and listening to Another Brick In The Wall. They have ‘Wish You Were Here’ or ‘Wish I Was There’ in this case on this greatest hits album as well and Shine On You Crazy Diamond. I am suddenly happy. It won’t last long. 

Straight To You

At the airport I access a Eugenist aspect. Despising anyone or anything that gets in my way or slows my transit.  My anxiety turns further to hate, fellow passengers, delays boarding, disgusting food that I have to eat as I am so hungry. I am registering as a Vegan on the flight home. B A do the worst vegetarian food ever – hideous pasta in cream sauce, some crazy bean salad in more sauce and sleezy lemon mouse. Probably a weeks worth of fat with no pleasure at all. Not my kind of an investment frankly. There are no good films on the plane, I watched A Dangerous Method, quite bizarre how a film built around so many good reference points, Jung, Freud, Cronenberg and Sadomasochism could end up being so dreary. A contributing factor though was Kiera Knightly - not a sexy woman at all and the other bloke was way hotter in Shame.  Instead I find myself listening to Kate Bush’s last album thinking she could have quit whilst she was ahead. Plenty of turbulence along the way and I have to shut the window screen because when I look down all I can see is Canada. I did not escape Lancashire to die in Canada – this is definitely not happening. 

Home

Flew home to London on Sunday morning. Flight fairly dreary but not as dreary as arriving back at Heathrow to find Picadilly Line not working. Had to get 'bus replacement service' ( 3 words I have come to dread) to Hammersmith to rejoin the line and get home. Still I was offered lots of help with my bags on along the way so I obviously looked really old or really frail. Excellent.
Posting back on http://poisoniris.blogspot.com/

Tales of the unexpected

Here is Stella with Diego her little grey brother and her step brother Hugo. Diego is really cute but I hate penises on dogs so I am sticking with Stella. A man I met today was telling me he had to have his dog put down after 13 years. Obviously I had a lot of compassion for him since I have recently done the same thing with Chilli. He was saying what an amazing friend and inspiration the dog had been to him. He told me that he lost his mother in the 9/11 attacks and the same day when he got home traumatised from the news, he found a dog sitting on his door step wagging its tale so he took it in.

Later on the beach at night watching the sky get dark and meditating under the moon a cute dog came and sat under my arm. She was so sweet, I was a little nervous at first incase she was a stray and I would have to somehow force beg Richard or Ryan to take her in. Eventually her owner showed up but it was so nice to have a really sweet dog choose me out of all the people on the beach to sit by.

Conflict of interest

It's a rock and a hard place this thing about money and work. I saw the proposed teaching schedule for next semester and I have not as yet been allocated much work. I like the students but I never wanted to work in a Business School its hardly my feild of interest.  It makes me nervous as I hate financial insecurity however I also feel that as long as I am dependent on doing things I don't want to do for money I will never really rise to my own challenge.

I was talking to Jess about it before I came and we were saying. If you need money in a way the last thing you want is a job because the time and pay ratio of most jobs is contra-indicative to happiness and the leading of a productive life or the achievement of long term goals.

The fact is my over heads are low. I have already had 3 holidays this year. I have nice clothes and a new dog. I should just prioritise my true calling whatever the fuck that is.

Snatching failure from the jaws of success

I ate fruit and salad all day yesterday. I was really pleased, then in Publix I felt compelled to buy a bag of peanut M&M's. What's wrong with me? Why am I so fundamentally weak? I might never be thin. Fuck.

Things I have done today. A pictorial review

I drank coffee (3 cups)

Ate fruit salad for breakfast

Fed stray cat

Did Dr Hauschka facial and wrote reviews of all the products for Jess

Had late lunch at Lime (Taco Salad)

Drank coconut water