Lazy Days

I have to stop procrastinating - I actually have a few things to do while I am here.

• Write 2 articles for esoteric magazine 
• Draft out PCHE
• Write other stuff (this is a list in itself)

I am so lazy and unfocused I really need to get a grip.

Gimme Shelter

I got too much sun yesterday. I am staying home this afternoon, reading, writing and generally under achieving.

When there is nothing left to cling to a narrative will do

I have been writing these stories since I got here. Its one of the reasons that I came. The stories exist in my head, they have waited there for years, they have been written, edited and filed in the back of my mind. All I am doing is writing them down. It is the human condition to tell stories and the human condition to store experiences in well rounded narrative form. It's as though our minds are like library's full of tiny hand written books all about the time, well you remember when...

It is our nature to search for meaning, we refer to causality and like to create endings where otherwise there would be none. Really life just rolls on from one breath to another, nothing really matters on one level while on another simultaneously it does. Traumatic and difficult events are also stored in stories. Some people even attend therapy sessions talking through every occurance in great detail. They think they are trying to over come things. They are becoming cheif witness for the proscecution in their own life. They will reach no greater understanding but if they persist they will eventually get their story straight.

Keep a diary and one day it will keep you. Mae West

One of the reasons I came away from London was to write. I was not sure what I was going to write I just had this longing to allow myself the time to write something. Back home I keep myself busy, I have a job, my friends, I run around town, go out most evenings if only for an hour or two, walk the dog, go to the supermarket, clean the flat, do the laundry all while typing on or talking into my Blackberry.
My freinds tell me I should write and up until last year I had a blogged under the name Poison Iris which I really enjoyed. I wrote about my childhood, eating cakes, men, magick and movies. I love the short format of blog posting but I do have the desire to put together something a little more substantial. Its not that I have lots of self confidence or anything its not that I even think I am any good, its just that I can't go on any longer not giving myself a shot.